"I used to have a pretty high IQ before I left".

Its Halloween night here in the city. Sirens are blaring every hour or less outside of my window. I don't live in a bad neighborhood mind you, NW to be exact. Tonight thousands of people will descend upon lower Georgetown for the annual Halloween drag races.

On my way home just now I saw heards of college students in clever, ambigious and assenine costumes waiting to join the festivities down on M St. The irony of my night struck me. I had just dropped off a family at Walter Reed after taking them trick or treating in some of the more friendly neighborhoods in DC, as Georgia Avenue can be pretty unforgiving for such activity. I had spoken with the Mom a last week about what some of the mothers were going to do being that a military hospital seemed a pretty grim place to spend Halloween. I had offered to try to coordinate a trip off base but had not heard back from her.

I had gotten a call from an unidentified number at work late today and it was the Mom I had spoken too’s husband. Her husband had sustained head injuries in Iraq and was having a pretty serious surgery this week. He explained that the party they thought was going on had already happened and whether or not my offer still stood to take the fam out for a little bit of normalcy on Halloween. I said of course and hopped in the car a little while later to scoot up before the sun went down, I wasn't quite sure where I was going to take them but I figured that people started trick or treating pretty early.

I didn't realize the Dad was going to come with us and felt a little ashamed of my small car as he squished his huge uniformed-frame and walking cane into my passenger seat, the kids and Mom snuggly packed in the back seat. A buddy of mine had mentioned that his neighborhood was going to be pretty fun tonight so we headed there.

He was right. The block was swarming with kids, porches with carved pumpkins and even one house was putting on some sort of play on their roof. It was like Pleasantville for a night, seriously. Fall leaves blowing down the sidewalks and in the streets, little feet running around and echoes of “trickertreat!” up and down the street. I joined the family for a few houses, but then peeled back to my buddy's house to let them have some family time.

There are so many small details I want to record, but they don’t belong to me. So many things I want to describe and moments about tonight with them that were so sweet and joyful, despite the fact that they were in a random neighborhood, being shuffled around by an almost stranger. But those moments and smiles and jokes belong to that family, I felt so blessed to witness them.

The kids were ages 12 and 16. Now you might be wondering why a 16 year old would want to trick or treat, but when you are living in a hotel/outpatient center, being home schooled and have not a soul your age to hang out with, trick or treating is about the best thing you have going. The kid-er young man- is so great too. Such a brave and good kid, I was almost happy that he didn’t have to deal with how awful the kids probably would be if he were in regular school.

He walked his sister up to each door and occasionally grabbed a few pieces of candy for himself in his homemade pirate costume. He had customized a pea coat with green glow bracelet pieces to look like pirate jacket hinges. It was great. I had a curly black wig that I had brought along and a white cap with an anchor on it that completed the outfit. Once he had the wig on, and his age was less apparent, he seemed to be more comfortable approaching the houses. That was also when I took off.

After they walked the blocks and made it back, we piled in the car and headed to my place. My sister was house-sitting close by and wanted us to stop over. I wanted to show them the rooftop view from my building, which is a sprawling 360 degree view of the entire city, MD and VA. We grabbed some ginger bread and cider in my lobby (they had a party tonight for the residents, we missed the ice cream) and headed up to the roof. I could tell the Dad was tiring but putting on a fun face for the Kids.

They were amazed by the view, but we spent about 20 minutes watching the planes land at National Airport. The planes were littering the sky, I had never seen so many. The Dad and Son laughed and explained to me the flight patterns and maneuvers pretty knowledgeably. They were one after one and buzzing all around in the distance like fireflies. I heard the Dad mutter quietly "The sky reminds me of...." and then he trailed off.

We left the deck and traipsed down to the house my sister was sitting. She knew that we would be her only visitors and had put out a bunch of beautiful pumpkins and candles on the porch and stairs. She had also ordered pizza. She poured some wine for the adults when we entered the house and we all plopped in front of the TV. (The friend she was house-sitting for wouldn't mind, trust me.)We joked around, the kids talked about their favorite shows and the parents ended up telling us the story about how they met. Everyone was so relaxed, it was as if we had known each other for years. My cousin also came down and so it was like two families, hanging out, like normal.

The younger daughter, who had been ultra chatty and rambunctious, was out like a light on the couch having scarfed a few slices of pizza pretty quickly. The Son had pulled out his video game player while we all listened to the story of the couple meeting, their first date and their wedding day. It was touching, hilarious and remarkable, but it’s none of your business.

Later we piled back into the car and headed back to the base. I almost felt bad taking them back there. I wanted to tuck the kids into normal beds and wished that the parents had a couch to snuggle up on together. The community at Walter Reed is pretty amazing, the way that folks lean on each other and create community. The rooms at the base aren't bad mind you, but it's not home. No, Georgia Avenue is definitely not home for most, if not all, of the folks I meet there. Its limbo.

When I dropped them off the Dad gave me a huge bear hug and whispered thank you in my ear. I told him to make his wife call me more often, and that I would come visit when he was out of surgery. They had some rough weeks ahead and his Wife commented that it was nice to get out and feel normal for a night. That made me feel good. They were all so courageous and tough. Four of them living in a hotel room together and so grateful for a night out amongst us civilians.

I pulled out of the base, and was pretty thoughtful, as I usually am when I leave. A sort of numbness comes over me, too much to sort out and remember. I usually end up praying, just saying thank you that their lives were in tact and that they had made it back. Sometimes the CS kicks in and I cry or get mad. The Dad was so articulate about so many things, so cute with his kids, so gentle with his Son and Daughter and so proud of his Wife, it was hard to be anything but reflective and appreciative.

So on the way home, when I passed those kids, those privileged college kids, waiting in a herd for the bus, something that the Dad said to me rang in my ears over and over. He had sustained some sort of head injury in Iraq, but I hadn't asked for details. I usually don’t, unless they offer. He had said "I had a pretty high IQ before I left" as part of some quick chatting we had done about John Kerry's comments regarding "studying hard, going to college" and "being stuck in Iraq". Just so I don't forget them, I want to include them in this post:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

I passed a few more bus stops with college kids from American and Georgetown on the way home. I'm a Georgetown grad myself and remember night after drunken night, the amount of time partying that we all did, and how much my friends still did party, myself included. I could really digress into a rant here, my thoughts fly all over the place when I relistened to Kerry’s comments. But I can’t say he’s the only sanctimonious one stumping on the war.

Sheesh, I was at a veterans’ party hosted by the RNC’s Capitol Club once and the country music star they had performing during dinner, spent more time preach-ahem-talking, than he did singing. Even I got up during one of his patriotic pre-song sermons for a smoke with some of the vets. One of them commented to me “I don’t know if the Dems have parties like these, but we’ve never been to them. But every time we come here, its like being in fuckin’ church.”

Ever since I started heading up to Walter Reed I have listened to the endless war chatter differently. I have many friends in power suits, who talk policy over cocktails in Capitol Hill bars night after night. The talking gets deafening sometimes as they seem more interested in rhetorical jousting and intellectual masturbation. A different form of Civilian Syndrome (that I like to call Stupid Civilian Syndrome or SCS) isn’t about being sensitive to bullshit artists like these, it is also about continuing to spew it with very little experience or concern for accuracy or pragmatism.

Liberal wonks consider them the enlisted poor and uneducated; conservatives consider them the humble worker bees. And while I am not naive enough to ignore that a significant part of the military is a subsidized social welfare program, and that the structure of the military does act a little like boarding school for some folks, the elitism that pervades this country with regards to our troops now has a poster boy in John Kerry.

I won’t excuse Republicans either though, as this will probably be only looked at and used as a much needed and appreciated election distraction. I’d say that paired with Rush’s recent commentary on Michael J. Fox’s condition, that the parties are even, in terms of the number of feet they each have in their mouth. One difference, John Kerry helps to form policy and Rush is a fricken entertainer. Course these days its hard to tell. Dems treat entertainers like policymakers and Reds treat policymakers like entertainers. The laughter in the press room with Tony Snow is almost as often and as rancorous as the laughter on set at Jon Stewart. Which is dispicable. (I am also aware of the hypocrisy of my critique of Hill wonk pontificating being followed by a diatribe on partisan politicking despite my alleged disdain for it).

But when I heard Kerry’s comments earlier today, I wasn't struck by the insult to the military at first. I was struck by the credit he gave students, making "an effort to be smart". Because our colleges, high schools and even graduate schools (especially our graduate schools if you ask me) are FILLED with folks who don't give a shit about education, wisdom and service. Most of them care about making more money (which isn't bad all the time) or proving themselves right (which isnt bad all the time either). Sure, there are some amazing individuals out there, but for the most part I meet mindless drone after mindless drone pouring out with these expensive sheets of paper that mean that they are worth more in the job market.

I’ve heard managers complain about having to sift through resumes of overeducated, overvalued individuals who don’t know how to work for anybody but themselves and in their own way. Or they seek to avoid the whole mess by staying in academics, or think tanks where they can continue to enjoy the privilege of distanced intellectual safety and "success". I actually had a friend of mine comment to me (GU, LSE, Harvard and future Columbia PhD) that “hopefully I’ll never have to get a real job.” He’s going to be a goddamn economics professor one day and he’s never had a real job in his life! Here’s to those making an “effort to be smart”Mr. Kerry!

Don't get me wrong, I love Georgetown. I love its ethos. I love its history, one that is folded right into American history. My education there was a privelege not an entitlement, and although I wasn't a perfect student by any means, my parents did a hell of a job teaching me that I was obligated to work for my degree, not just during college but after. Many college kids don't realize this. They think that their high priced degrees will get them jobs immediately after graduation. And not just any jobs, the PERFECT job. Parents enable this by letting the kids rot at home for months and years after college so they dont have to take jobs they hate or "waste money on rent". But I'll stop short at claiming that everyone there was making an "effort to be smart" all the time, even me. It wasn't the callousness to the military that I found the most offensive, it was Kerry’s obtuse and idealistic perspective on the "educated" that I found most stunning, arrogant and warped. Many folks don't have the economic priveledge of having their parents enable their existential stroll through their 20s, and many of them join the military as a way to pay for education and living costs. Heck, even I have considered it for graduate school. Again, Kerry's comments weren't offensive to me at first because of the implication that the military is undereducated, but at how easy he made it seem to "be successful".

As I stared at these students tonight, all dressed up, waiting for the bus I thought of the dozens of folks their age I knew at the hospital. No shuttle to take them to town, no party to head to, no bizarre rituals to share with their friends, just the quiet that usually shrouds the base and the company of other injured soldiers who apparently hadn't tried hard enough to "get educated" like the students in front of me.

These "campuses" are only a few miles apart, but tonight I felt a huge crevasse between them, and it was, indeed, as if it was Iraq that lay between them. I also couldn't help but think that if these college kids were dropped in the middle of Iraq how totally screwed we would be. But I guess you are listening to someone who believes that the Middle Class values that we used to cherish in this country are the only thing we have that might actually "sell" the Middle East on democracy....not some Upper Ruling class kid channeling Bernard Lewis to someone that has been broke and threatened his whole life. Hearts and minds aren't some victory trophy to be "won", you don't "win" respect, you earn it. You don't "win" peace either, you build it. It makes sense that those coming up with these rhetorically inane slogans and theories never really had to earn anything on their own. But I digress.....

I don’t know why I’m including this and a better writer would wrap this into some prolific moral conclusion for you, but I also thought of something a Jesuit once told me, when I was having serious academic difficulties myself. I wont talk more about why this quote was revelant to me at the time, but its still playing like a broken record in my head about the Kerry comments for some reason. He said “There’s a difference between being smart and being intelligent. A rat can wonder into a trap, and while the smart one knows he is now in a trap and may know how to get out, the intelligent rat knows to avoid the trap altogether.”


Ironically, I realized Kerry’s words sounded almost, well, like a Bushism. There was wisdom there, but not in the way he thought or meant(as Bush tends to do as well- Go Yale). The more his words echoed in my head, the more I thought of the family I had just been with, and stared at the students herded at the bus stop anxious to get down to the fun. The lines “I used to have a pretty high IQ before I left” and “make an effort to be smart” pinballed in my head for a while.

Kerry’s words rang out in my ears, but not as a warning to the unmotivated (as he seemed to have meant it, as if to scare them into studying). His words echoed more as a warning to these young future “leaders” all “making an effort” in school: You had better be smart folks, and work hard, cause if you don’t, you will, indeed, get - someone else - stuck in Iraq.